The Memo I Seem to Have Missed

In these fashion conscious times I keep wondering whether a memo was sent out and for reasons not yet known to me, I missed it. In case you do not understand what I am going on about, here are the contents of the memo I must have missed… 

  1. The waists have moved. Yes, you read right. The waists are no longer somewhere at and or between the abdomen and the hips. They are nowadays located at the middle or below the rear sitting quarters. So, when shopping for pants, kindly have that rule into consideration.
  2. Put careful thought in to how colorful your undergarment is. Neon bright colors shows how bright you are both inside and out (multiple meaning apply here).
  3. It is important to embrace and love yourself. In fact, knowing that you are fearfully and wonderfully made encourages you to flaunt that crack right above your rear sitting end. Everyone surely needs to be shown that area of your anatomy. Remember a season when girls rocked G-strings? It’s our time.
  4. Wear an equally colorful top that threatens to rip apart and really make the rainbow jealous. After all, what a chameleon can do, a swagger-filled guy can do a whole load better! Make sure the top does not reach the newly defined waist’s height.
  5. A belt, what is it for? A new walking style can correct that. Simply walk with one foot in the East and the other in the West and have one hand grabbing the crotch. Punctuate the swaged up look with a spring in that walk…

Is there anyone else left out like me? I probably should have gotten used to this by now but I haven’t and so much goes on in my head when I witness these heinous crimes. Here are some of those mental responses I never dare to voice in relation to each pointer in the above ‘memo’…

  1. Dude, what’s the point? Just claim you have moved your waist further down and rock on with a pair of socks…
  2. Scowl. Scowls some more. Walks around making angry faces at oncoming human traffic.
  3. Is this confidence, conceit, confusion, or crisis? #sigh.
  4. Smh! Smh! Smh! Smh! Smh!
  5. If I tripped and fell forward then unluckily held on to the pants of that guy, who between the two of us would be more embarrassed? Should I try?  

Of course I hope I do not ever trip and fall. Not all my reactions can be put here. What I am trying to say in so many words is that not all fashion trends suit everyone. A celeb rocking certain looks may be in a bid to start a fashion trend. Sometimes they work, sometimes they do not. Decency is the most important thing to be on the lookout for in choosing an outfit. Of course you cannot please everybody, but you can pick an outfit that complements, is classy and decent all in one.

There is a ladies ‘memo’ I seem to have missed too. Coming soon. However, if there actually exists such a document, kindly enlighten me! Cheers!

(Images courtesy of Google)

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