The Other Memo I Missed

I seem to be a bit slow in knowing these fashion things it seems. This is another memo I figure I did not find on any notice board. You can find the initial one here.

Majority of the human population is in agreement that God did a grand thing when He made designed a woman. Everyone has a woman in their life be it mother, sister, girlfriend, classmate, friend-zone mate etc. Of course, covering our birthday suits is a task undertaken by all sane people. But lately, I have been noticing a few things that are so common I am wondering when they became laws to abide by. Here goes…

  1. Latest fads: I do not get! Nope. I do not understand why everyone is wearing those ‘I poked your mama on Facebook’ t-shirts. Ok, that’s petty I know. What I seriously need explaining about is why people think tight clothes scattered all over the body are sexy or make you look good.First, girls, you need to figure out your body shapes! Take two: YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT YOUR BODY SHAPES! (Was that loud enough?)  Not every fashion trendy garment looks good on everyone. For example, it is easier for a small bodied lady to get away with a skimpy outfit than if a full bodied lady wore the same; a full bodied lady can do justice to free sized clothes while a small bodied one just swims somewhere inside the garment with only arms, legs and a face sticking out. You get my point?
  2. Weaves: I have a mouthful to say on this but, I will swallow some of those words and simply say… please maintain them and your natural/real hair is cool too.
  3. The insufferable butt cracks and the cleavages boys love. Let me take this opportunity to let the ladies know that everyone has a butt crack. Surprised? Don’t be.
    I have also heard that displaying the twins or girls (you’ll figure that out eventually), indicate that you have a big heart. I cannot politely explain how vain and false that is so I won’t.
  4. Footwear: heels make a girl look feminine. True. But some of those shoes are either a size small or super uncomfortable. Who said your feet have to be in pain for you to look good? I understand that sometimes mishaps happen in the cause of the day leading to alien-ish walking styles. It helps to have an extra pair of sandal/shoe just in case. (Yes guys, that is why a lady will suddenly stop in the middle of the street, chuck a black paper bag, slap some sandals against the ground wear them and live leave walk on like nothing happened.
  5. I am noticing a new trend where ladies wear a nice colorful bra and a see through top. Someone please explain to me what that is meant to accomplish. Pleeeeease.
  6. Finally, much has been said and written about this but it doesn’t hurt to repeat. Posting near-naked pics of you on social media add zero value to the world. For real, zero.

When all has been said and done, life continues. Decency is a personal decision. Looking good is a sign of respect to those around you. It also shows what you think of yourself. Look keenly at different ladies, notice how they dress and how people around them treat them, take the lessons and apply them accordingly.

Asking yourself the following questions may help with the choice of clothes you choose to buy/wear for different occasions.

  • What’s the occasion?
  • What impression am I trying to give?
  • Who do I intend to please?
  • How much skin is too much?
  • Am I comfortable, classy?

One more thing, those girls who wear little pieces of super colorful clothes simply because they are trending need to be frozen and put in museums as display of terrible fashion mistakes made in history! I mean, you can’t wear a pink strapless top, small orange skirt (the behind is written SHAKIRA), white tights, green bolero, blue braids… sigh!

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